10 Common Myths About Separation Anxiety in Dogs
(And What’s Really Going On)
Separation anxiety in dogs is more common than many owners realise. However, it’s also one of the most misunderstood behavioural issues.
​
As a result, dogs are often labelled as naughty, stubborn, or badly behaved, when in reality they are struggling with intense fear and panic. When these behaviours are misinterpreted, support can be delayed and stress increases for everyone involved, including your dog, you, and your family.
​
Below, I break down some of the most common myths around separation anxiety and explain what’s actually happening for dogs when they’re left alone.
Myth 1: “My dog is being naughty or destructive”
What’s really going on
​
Many owners assume that when a dog chews furniture, scratches doors, or toilets in the house while alone, they are being bad or spiteful.
​
In reality, these behaviours are signs of severe stress caused by separation anxiety.
​
Dogs with separation anxiety are not intentionally misbehaving. Instead, they are experiencing panic in response to your absence. Often, destructive behaviours are an attempt to escape, self-soothe, or release overwhelming tension.
​
Common signs you might notice:
​
-
Chewing doors, gates, or furniture
-
Scratching at walls or floors
-
Vomiting or defecating when alone
-
Barking, howling, or whining
​
Why punishment doesn’t help
​
Punishing a dog for these behaviours increases fear and stress, which can actually make the anxiety worse. Instead, the focus needs to be on behavioural modification, positive reinforcement, and helping your dog feel safe.
​
Key takeaway: Destructive behaviour is a communication of panic, not naughtiness.
Myth 2: “If my dog is quiet, they must be calm”
Quiet doesn’t always mean relaxed
​
Many owners assume that if their dog isn’t barking or destroying things, they must be coping well. However, dogs with separation anxiety don’t always show distress loudly.
​
Some dogs internalise their panic, experiencing what’s often referred to as quiet anxiety.
​
Signs of quiet anxiety can include
​
-
Staying in one position for long periods
-
Staring at the door or window
-
Loss of appetite during alone time
-
Subtle trembling or quiet panting
​
In some cases, dogs may completely shut down, showing very little movement while experiencing high levels of internal stress. Because these signs are subtle, they’re often overlooked.
​
Key takeaway: A quiet dog is not necessarily a calm dog.
Myth 3: “Leaving the TV or music on will stop separation anxiety”
Why background noise isn’t enough
​
It’s very common for owners to leave the TV, radio, or white noise on when they leave the house. While familiar sounds may offer temporary distraction, they don’t address the root cause of separation anxiety.
​
In fact, background noise can sometimes make things worse.
​
Why noise alone doesn’t work:
​
-
Dogs can still feel trapped or unsafe
-
Sounds may increase alertness rather than calm
-
It doesn’t teach coping skills for being alone
​
Additionally, the act of turning on the TV as you leave can become a pre-departure cue, signalling to your dog that you’re about to go and triggering anxiety before you’ve even stepped outside.
​
Key takeaway: True relief comes from helping a dog feel safe, not simply masking the silence.
Myth 4: “Separation anxiety is caused by spoiling a dog”
Affection isn’t the problem
​
Many owners worry that cuddling their dog too much, letting them sleep on the bed, or giving lots of affection has caused separation anxiety.
​
This isn’t true.
​
Separation anxiety is fear-based, not the result of being “spoilt”. Dogs form strong emotional bonds with their caregivers, and for some dogs, separation triggers panic regardless of how independent they appear at other times.
​
Key takeaway: Separation anxiety is an emotional disorder, not a behavioural flaw or a result of affection.
Myth 5: “Confining my dog will stop the anxiety”
When confinement makes things worse
​
Crates, gates, or restricting access to certain rooms can help manage a dog’s environment. However, confinement alone does not resolve separation anxiety.
​
Many dogs with separation anxiety also experience confinement anxiety, where being restricted can increase panic.
​
Why confinement can backfire:
​
-
Dogs may try to escape and injure themselves
-
Fear and distress can escalate rather than reduce
​
Key takeaway: Confinement can be a management tool, but it isn’t a cure.
Myth 6: “Separation anxiety will go away on its own”
Why waiting rarely helps
​
Some owners hope their dog will eventually “get used to” being alone. Unfortunately, untreated separation anxiety rarely resolves without support.
​
Over time:
​
-
Panic responses can intensify
-
Anxiety can generalise to new triggers
-
In some cases, self-harm behaviours may develop
​
Early support makes a significant difference and is often far more effective than waiting and hoping for improvement.
​
Key takeaway: Ignoring the problem allows anxiety to worsen.
Myth 7: “Medication is always the first solution”
Medication can help, but it’s not the whole picture
​
Medication can be beneficial for some dogs, especially when anxiety is severe. However, it’s most effective when used alongside behavioural support and veterinary guidance.
​
A collaborative approach ensures that both the emotional and behavioural aspects of separation anxiety are addressed.
​
Key takeaway: A holistic approach often delivers the best outcomes.
Myth 8: “Separation anxiety only affects dogs left alone for long hours”
It’s about emotion, not time
​
How long a dog is left alone is less important than how they feel during that time.
​
Some dogs can cope for hours, while others experience panic within seconds of their owner leaving. This is linked to a dog’s individual tolerance threshold.
​
Key takeaway: Emotional response matters more than duration.
Myth 9: “Dogs outgrow separation anxiety naturally”
Age doesn’t make it disappear
​
Separation anxiety does not typically resolve with age. In fact, without support, symptoms can intensify over time.
​
Older dogs may also develop cognitive changes, which can result in new separation-related behaviours even if they’ve previously coped well.
​
Key takeaway: Separation anxiety can affect dogs of any age or breed.
Myth 10: “Ignoring the problem will teach my dog to behave”
Why ‘barking it out’ doesn’t work
Some owners are advised to leave their dog to “get used to it” or to ignore the behaviour entirely.
Unfortunately, this often reinforces fear rather than reducing it. Repeated exposure without support can deepen anxiety and lead to more intense panic responses.
​
Key takeaway: Compassionate, structured support is far more effective than ignoring anxiety.
Next Steps
If you’re feeling unsure about what to do next, professional guidance can make a huge difference. You can learn more about how I work with dogs and their owners through my online separation anxiety training.
Final thoughts
Separation anxiety is not about bad behaviour, stubbornness, or poor ownership. It’s about fear, emotional safety, and a dog struggling to cope when left alone.
​
By understanding the myths and recognising stress signals early, you can take the first step toward helping your dog feel calmer, safer, and more secure.
​
Most dogs want to feel okay when they’re alone. Sometimes, they just need the right help to learn how. Click the button below if you'd like to know more about the separation anxiety training I offer.
Written by
Katie Brill (CSAT, PACT-KSA, ABTC-ATI)
Certified separation anxiety Specialist
Published on February 12th 2026